You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
