after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
