I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
bring money and cleavage
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
