It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
