The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The adults are the big ones right?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
