so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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