he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Drunk is not a location!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
