At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
