We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
