And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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