Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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