there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
