OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm having to shit out rocks
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
