is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize