Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize