she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize