Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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