ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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