Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
