We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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