i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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