so that wasnt chicken after all
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
