You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
