Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
