Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
