Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
