So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
