Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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