He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we should paint friendship bongs
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