Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Drake has all the answers
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
