I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
