East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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