I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
