The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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