my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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