i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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