I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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