she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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