you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
