He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
