look no pants
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
