We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
