is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
