you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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