If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
