i may or may not be watching the land before time
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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