Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so that wasnt chicken after all
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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