Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This baby is an asshole
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
