hotel room ftw
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she told me i tasted like america
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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