I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
