yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
two words: eviction party
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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