Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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