What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
worst night to have a conscience
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
