Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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