I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to coat check the pizza.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize