you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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