Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
