i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
