a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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