love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So much rum. So many feels.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
